Oneshot
by Kuro Guardian
Summary: Imagine the ability to perform an task perfectly the first time you attempt. Now imagine that every subsequent attempt met failure in some way. This is the lot of Naruto Ito a boy determined to knock "fate" down to size. Don't about pairings! AU of course


Naruto Ito is rather honestly pissed. Throwing another kunai at the bull's-eye he can't for the life of him figure out why he can't replicate his original success. It had been perfect. Five kunai in a single bull's-eye. Not even that brooding Uchiha kid could claim the same - but now he couldn't seem to get another bulls' eye for anything. "What am I doing wrong?" Or was Umino-sensei right…. Was it a fluke?"

If so it is a fairly common one - at least for Ito-kun. His life is a series of them. Missing questions on tests he'd answered with no problem in class. Flawless execution of jutsu he always failed in practice sessions. A precision in taijutsu that never seemed to remain after that first session of form-taught. It was why he was a solid if only average student…

Giving up the kunai targeting as bad shot Naruto decides to go home. "I guess I'll always be 'one-shot Ito!" Not that he cared; hell if the Hokage hadn't mandated he do the full-term he'd have used his "luck" to pass the early graduate test the Academy has. Smiling he barely notices his Anbu nanny flickering along behind him. 'That is still fucking bizarre. Oh, well if pop left the money for it - than it has to be important.'

Arriving at the snug little Ito compound Naruto flicks his dark hair out of his eyes as he searches for his keys. "Ito-chan? Keys left pocket are." Nodding absently the eight-year-old digs out his keys and waves his nanny goodnight. 'Creepy.' The smell of breakfast still lingers in the empty house reminding him of a time when others resided her with him. Brushing away the darkness that threatens Naruto decides to go to bed. He can always eat tomorrow.

000

"Fuck! Do you always gotta be such a showoff?" Grinning at the exasperated Inuzuka Naruto eyes shine brightly with mirth. He normally never tries harder then he has to on a first attempt. It's only afterwards that he trains like mad for results that always fall short of the mark however small the margin. Of course that means he currently holds the position of fourth in class ranking, and the position of second in how irritating he is, at least for the class's boys.

Sadly the class girls… err are a different story. "Wow! You're amazing Ito-chan. Will you go on a date with me?" The bunshin shrugs before fading away leaving Kiba to take the wrath of a spurn fan girl. Laughing as he jumps the fence to play hooky with Chouji and Shikamaru Naruto couldn't imagine anything getting him down.

000

"Any jutsu, any ability - mental or physical, any action you take is subject to your bloodline Naruto. A perfect attempt is possible only once and there after failure awaits that endeavor." The vernable Hokage can only sigh at the look of devastation Naruto directs at his shoes, especially as there is more. "Naruto this bloodline is the sold providence of your original clan."

Bright, blue eyes pin him with a near physical force, "I am Ito - the last Ito." Briefly the eyes flash purple and Sarutobi is ever so glad the jinnchiruki is tasked with his curse of a bloodline. "No, no child. You are an Uzumaki from your mother and an Kazuma from your father. The Uzumaki were the ones with the Perfect defect bloodline. It was how they came by their name - those who would not succumb were like fools fighting the inevitable. Those who could not overcome became mad - sucked down in the swirling maw of insanity."

"So my choices are either become a walking, talking exercise in futility or a pitiful side story?" The flat look in the boy's eyes is unnerving ring - perhaps this talk was a mistake? "No child, no - surely you've noticed your learning curve is exceptional? That is simply because you have a potential to learn that ensures you'll be a man of renown regardless of your path or genetic disorder.

Sliding his eyes shut the ten-year-old realizes perfectly well that the Sandaime is subtly trying to dissway him from becoming a ninja. "Thank you, however my path is clear - I will be a ninja if only to spit ion fate's face. I will even go so far as to become Hokage. The day I put on your mantle is the day all Uzumaki will be vindicated and the specter of fate permanently slain. This I affirm upon the heat beating within my chest - believe it!" Struck silent the elder can only watch his ward walk away. Turning to the fourth's picture he smiles. "Great - another hopped up brat!"

000

"You fail!" And Naruto smiles. He detests every single girl in his class and refuses to be paired with any of them. Besides which most of the boys hate him, so - "I see. Thank you for your time Iruka-sensei, Mizuru -sensei. I guess I'll see you next year." Walking out he's glad he sat through one or two early graduation sessions otherwise he might have passed regardless of his previous success and subsequent failures at the Bunshin jutsu. Sitting in the lone swing a shadow falls over him.

Looking up to see Mizuru-san Ito notices something unnatural in Mizuru's stance and wishes he hadn't been such an analytical child, but then it'd been a necessity considering… "Hello sensei. What do you want?" The smile the older man gives him is hidden mostly by the sun glare, but it doesn't inspire any warm feelings. "Well Ito-kun I felt - "Two women point at him talking loudly. "My sister says -" "Strange like that woman… mm Uzuhaji?" "Died during the attack." "Like her baby…"

"So what do you think?" Nodding absently it takes a moment to realize he has **no** idea what he's agreeing to. "Great - the scroll is in the tower in a room near the Hokage's office. It has no real defenses. We'll meet at the shed we use for hostage situation training." Smiling kindly the man walks off. 'How very odd… Thank goodness my old nanny isn't here - I'm pretty sure Mizuru is behaving traitorously.'

000

Writing down the last jutsu Naruto knows damn well that pretty much each and every jutsu he's written is a one-shot deal never to be attempted again. Failing with kunai and shuriken is one thing, failing with these jutsu… 'Especially that last one. Geez, that last thing I need is a pissed Death God.' Something niggles in the back of is head, but - "Demon brat!"

Barely dodging Naruto rues every single taijutsu spar he has ever had. "I have no fucking idea what you're talking about traitor. Looking to follow Aoi-teme's footsteps?" Briefly running over his options Naruto decides that Kage Bunshin is his best bet of a good, decisive victory. 'Besides I can probably perfect that one with enough practice. Plus it can help me re-learn the other shit I screw up!"

Smiling manically the over-confident chunnin ignores his "prey's" rapidly raising chakra. "Fool, but no… you've never known and sin e that old idiot actually kept his mouth shut… You were an infant newly born when the fox struck twelve years ago. Lacking any other option the fourth sealed the fox demon into you and the Sandaime allowed you to live." Tuning out whatever else the obviously unbalanced chunnin has to say Naruto decided he need to have a "talk" with a certain old man.

"Naruto! Mizuru!" Interestingly enough both chunnin and academy student share the thought, 'well fuck'. Now Iruka will never know it, but his showing up is going to fuckup about -ah three millennia of planning give or take a century. When he dies he will be sent to Limbo while Gods, Demons, and … other concepts battle it out over who gets to hand his ass to him. Fortunately a mere three hundred years later Naruto find him and with Shikamaru's help sneaks him into Heaven. How he snuck from there to Nirvana is anyone's guess.

Anyway, "What da hell is going on?!" Even though Naruto has never been good at sarcasm sine the "Ibiki/Anko" incident he decides to give it a whirl- what could it hurt? "Mizuru's a traitor who tricked me into giving him the scroll and who just spilled an S-class secret out here where any fool could hear it… Is he in trouble sensei? Enjoying the sound of crickets while the adults gape, the eleven-year-old decided his sarcasm is getting better even if it is a bit - subtle? OFF? Something. Blinking Iruka gets a hold of himself. "Yes, I'd say Mizuru is in quite a lot of trouble Naruto."

'Perfect.' Instantly he smile, "Does this mean Mizuru-baka needs to be subdued?" When the instructor nods slowly Naruto grins brightly before creating an even two hundred clones and pointing at a terrified failure of a human being. "Don't kill him, but feel free to insure the end of his future as a ninja." The sound of their combined laughter is disturbing… almost demonic. "Iruka! Hel-" And the woods resound with the sound of… ah... Ill-adjusted children at play. "Look at that! What is it?!" "Who cares tear it off!" "The skin or the arm?" "Skin and arm, but don't destroy the tattoo."

000

An hour latter with a still bemused Iruka sent off to bed Naruto stares meaningfully at his surrogate grandfather. "So - I can be told my parent's names I can be told I have a bloodline. I can be told I'm adopted, doomed to madness or failure, and any number of uncomfortable things, but not that there is a bloodly huge fox in my gut! Why?"

Wincing Sarutobi realizes it does seem kind of ass backwards put that way. "I wanted you to have a normal childhood Naruto." When Naruto simply tilts his head at _that_ angle the Hokage belatedly remembers how abnormal the child's life has been this far. 'To have your entire family slaughtered by hunter-nin… Disguised hunter0nin from your own village at that. If the effects of killing him at six hadn't been so dire I might not be speaking to the child right now.' "Ah, after an event like that can't you see why I'd withhold such information?" An awkward, but recognizable hand sign **:Laughter: **and again **:Laughter:**

Thirty minutes later an annoyed Sandaime dismisses him with a hitiate and a strict admonish to show up at the academy tomorrow. "Some gratitude. It's a stupidly simple request - 'send me back to the academy'. I don't see what the problem is I mean there's an odd number of kids in my class anyway. I'm actually helping out by _not_ graduating. Psh, whatever." Deciding to give it a go Naruto tries to perform a shushin and nearly gets it right although he overshoots his goal by about a foot. "Oh, well as long as I'm not stuck with Sasuke or one of his rabid fan girls" Feeling a chill he tosses his hitate across the room and heads to bed.


End file.
